Matchmakers - sticks of chocolate full of little zingy orange crystalsI have been thinking about one of my less desirable traits.
If someone upsets me, I often bear a grudge. This varies in scale; 5 being a mere temporary sulk and 1, a level that will stick for at least 12 years.
I don't know why and cannot explain it. It's probably got something to do with the fact that I find confrontations unbelievably difficult and would rather stew, cry or scowl, than face someone about something that's bothered me. There's also no point in expecting others to have a heart like your own.
Of course, misunderstandings come into this too and I've spent time in the past giving someone I know my best Paddington Bear stare for an eon every time I've seen them, without realising that they didn't intentionally upset anyone.
I want to change and become more optimistic about the human race in general, but...
There's always a but.
If someone upsets me, I often bear a grudge. This varies in scale; 5 being a mere temporary sulk and 1, a level that will stick for at least 12 years.
I don't know why and cannot explain it. It's probably got something to do with the fact that I find confrontations unbelievably difficult and would rather stew, cry or scowl, than face someone about something that's bothered me. There's also no point in expecting others to have a heart like your own.
Of course, misunderstandings come into this too and I've spent time in the past giving someone I know my best Paddington Bear stare for an eon every time I've seen them, without realising that they didn't intentionally upset anyone.
I want to change and become more optimistic about the human race in general, but...
There's always a but.
I don't know anyone who doesn't like home made chips - I always cook mine in extra virgin olive oil, they taste better and are made in 'good' fat. Or so I like to kid myself
8 comments:
Firsts again!??!
AMAZING! LOL
I asked D about the matchmakers last night...he had forgotten all about them, said he was addicted to the mint ones. Your photo looks good enough to eat!!!
About that 'but'... it's only there cos some people are complete arses! Rotten to the core! Luckily, cool bloggers tip the scales in our direction! ;-)
MMmmmm....chips.....I want them, NOW!
Totally not fair. I just started a diet today and you show me my heart's desire (for the moment).
By the way, Jin, I visited your blog - Jintrinsique - because, I just had to. Put on eight pounds just looking. Lovely.
Hungry now. After midnight. Bad time to eat but there's no one here to stop me. Will he plunder the pantry? Will he spoil his diet? Will he gorge himself into a coma? Who the hell is he anyway?
Now I have a grudge against Charlie because he said that everyone (which, of course, includes me) holds grudges. :)
But seriously (oh geez, do I have to be) grudges do seem to rob us of so much energy and trying to minimize them in our lives is, I believe, a worthy goal. I have discovered that I keep them alive with my thinking. We have so little control over our thoughts, but it seems that we have control over whether or not we latch onto our thoughts.
Sometimes the thought is a good one and there's no problem with latching onto it, turning it this way, and that way, following it until we get completely bored with it. But others are lousy thoughts and yet we seem to expend so much energy following those. We just don't want to let them go. Even when someone is standing in front of us making goofy faces, trying to make us laugh, trying to snap us out of it, we refuse to lighten up. We so want to hold onto the negative thought, keep ourselves in a foul mood, as if letting it go will let someone get away with something.
Whenever I feel a "grudge" thought coming on, I let it run its course and not chase after it. Before you know it, some other inane thought pops in my head and all is well (or if not well, then at least better).
This is because you are still growing up, Princess. Most people aren't really ready to face life until they come to the end of it, and by then they've usually had enough.
Try to see other people's faults as vulnerabilities. They are human and they too will probably dislike themselves sometimes. The grudge-bearing behaviour serves a purpose for you. Think on it. Maybe it serves a protective purpose and prevents people getting too close to you. Maybe there's an assumption that they don't like you. Maybe you don't like you. I like you, Pwintheth.
This stuff is probably linked to the Fur's parents stuff. That seems to be to do with fear, control, acceptance and so on. My advice to you is to remember at all times what a deeply lovely human being you are. Make sure Fur reminds you of this regularly. Whatever other people do or say to you doesn't really matter. Be nice to them regardless. You are too good not to.
That'll be twenty quid.
Jin - Teehee. I'll send you some minty ones if you would like some, not sure if the chips would last the trip tho :). I agree with you about cool bloggers, I'm blessed!
Gravymaster - Hahahahaha! Just wait till you see my next post! Was your heart's desire the choccy or the chips?
Charlie - Booooo to sugary pap and cowboy builders. Not a saint yet, but I'm working on it :)
Dan - Hello! I blame Charlie for everything. Interesting point though, human nature always drags the focus to negativity. I think my grudges run their course too and sometimes, teeny weeny gestures simply erase them.
Edina - A lovely way to be. I wish I could, but I have the memory of a heffalump.
Seb - Nothing to do with Fur's parents, tsk :) Thank you, you're very kind! Twenty quid? LOL. Teeheee!
Oh! I missed the comment about sending the minty ones! That's so sweet! *pun not really intended, but it works! LOL!*
Maybe someday we can do a mail exchange! :-)
Them looks like chewsticks to me. Wuff
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